Always a bridesmaid never a Bride. That would infer that I was even close to enough girls to have that kind of life. But I’m not. So more realistically the saying for me should be 'Always a Friend never a Girlfriend'. I am respected among males for my honesty, my brute way of helping them confront various girl related problems, and for my appreciation of football. At first glance that sounds kind of cool. Infiltrate the man world and be friends. Set yourself apart from other girls by enjoying what guys like. Well let me tell you... Girls and Guys weren't meant to be friends. Someone always gets hurt, and it's usually me… and some of my best friends are guys.
Now this sounds like a hypocritical statement. Didn't I literally just finish telling you that it is impossible? Well let me break it down for you. Guys and Girls can be friends if one person is always willing to be in pain. And ladies & gents I am a freaking martyr. I have willingly flayed my heart so many times in the name of friendship it’s practically a daily occurrence. To say that it was entirely for friendship is a lie though. Originally it starts out with a guy I’m attracted to. In order to get his attention I swoop in with my charming rhetoric and thought provoking wit and it hooks them, but never in the way I had intended. They find me new and fresh after being emotionally tortured by previous girlfriends. But one small flaw of course… I’m not their physical type. If it’s not my weight it’s my hair, or height, or eye color, or tattoos, or any number of factors. But my personality has made me so unique that they continue to talk to me. This leaves me to wonder every single time if this is the one that is going to be different.
I make men feel comfortable. I’m not intimidating, I can hold a conversational flow without dominating it, and I have a talent for seeing what is really bothering someone. I think this allows guys to relax and confess things they wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about with another guy for fear of not looking macho. The side effect of this is that we build deeply personal connections. I provide counseling basically and in return I get graced with the presence of someone I truly enjoy and find appealing. Here is where the beginning of the end comes in to play. These men will eventually bring up ex-girlfriends and ask me for my opinion. As soon as this happens I now realize that this means I am not viewed as a potential mate. I am now, for all intents and purposes, a priest taking confession. I am officially friend zoned.
I am so familiar with this zone now that when I get sent there by a new guy it’s like plunking down into an old lazy boy that has my butt imprint from years of use. Now my pain begins. I get to sit here every day and listen to how much you miss so and so, how you don’t understand what could have happened, and what I think you should do about it. And instead of getting up and walking away I just stay and take it, like individual paper cuts to my psyche. Why? Because I care about them. I genuinely have cared for each and every one of them. Because I had to try… I had to hope that this time was going to be different from all the rest. So while they see me as “the coolest girl I’ve ever met” or “going to make some lucky guy very happy” I am forced to wonder if I’m so great why aren’t they taking me off the market.
I’m the girl who hears “You have a lovely personality” more then I dare to recount. And you know what? They are right. I do have the best personality and will make some guy really happy… just a shame that it doesn’t count for much these days. So if you want a shoulder to cry on take a look around for me. I’ll be in the comfy blue recliner with a box of Kleenex and some Tylenol showing yet another man that I care enough to go through with the pain so that he can feel better.
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